Reischea Canidate-Kapasouris:
With a deep background in finance, you could easily say Shana Shumate was set in the world of monetary number crunching, until she wasn’t.
Julie Holton:
The climb to the top feels so good when you get there.
Audrea Fink:
Is it just us or can it feel lonely sometimes? Even when you’re successful.
RCK:
And who defines success anyway? What about life’s twists and turns.
JH:
We’ve learned a few things along the way, and we’re ditching the culture of competitiveness.
AF:
Bringing together women from different backgrounds to share their stories.
RCK:
Let’s do this together. Welcome to Think Tank of Three Podcast.
RCK:
Hi. I’m Reischea Canidate-Kapasouris, here with Julie Holton and Audrea Fink We are your Think Tank of Three.
JH:
Today’s guest, like many people, felt that her path was off center. She needed to reassert legitimate balance into her world.
AF:
What led Shana to not just toss the calculator to the side, but do a complete 180 in determining the next healthy step necessary to find her life’s center?
RCK:
Shana, thank you so much for taking the time to join the Think Tank of Three.
Shana Shumate:
Thank you, ladies, for having me. I am so glad to join you today.
RCK:
I appreciate your time. I appreciate your time. Shana is a very good friend of mine. Has done great things in helping to calm the minds and the spirit so this will be a very good moment of zen I think for people. Bachelor of science in finance from The Ohio State University, Fidelity, Deloitte & Touche. To say you were established in your career with numbers, pretty obvious. What was that world, that particular world like for you?
SS:
In a nutshell, it was tedious, fast-paced and busy. That’s the best way I can describe it. It’s very competitive. I come from a family of entrepreneurs. Both of my family owned businesses growing up so I was just engulfed in business, no matter if I liked it or not, it was around me at all times. That definitely led me to my career in finance, and I wanted to eventually go in and establish myself within my career and become a certified financial planner, and with a specific focus on working with women because I felt like that was a need. Women in business, women with their finances. I just always felt very passionate about that. That was the plan.
RCK:
You mentioned specific to women, which I think is awesome because it seems in all career facets, no matter what it is, it seems about men. What differences did you see when it comes to how a woman is developing in this field versus a man or honestly is there a difference? It’s just you need to just focus on women.
SS:
No. I mean I think there have been improvements, but I definitely think things have been geared towards men. Watching my mom, my mom was divorced so my mom was running her business by herself, and seeing some of the pitfalls and some of maybe the knowledge she didn’t have as a business owner, and where were those resources coming from? Where would she learn how to handle the taxes? Or how was she going to get capital that she needed for her business? I definitely think the world is changing for the better. We are definitely focusing a lot more, but at that time, I don’t want to tell my age, but at that time maybe that wasn’t the focus so that was my goal. That was my intent.
JH:
I love this theme of women empowering women. That seems like that was something that really drove you when you were in that career space, but then you made a move and it sounds to me like you made a move that was all about empowering you because you went from finance to the wellness industry, and that’s a really big shift. Tell us about that. What prompted you? What took you from finance to wellness?
SS:
I was very successful in the business world, I didn’t have to leave, but I wasn’t fulfilled, and I didn’t think I was following my true passion. What was really unique about at that time, I was dating a guy, who would soon become my husband, John, and he lived in Florida, I lived in Ohio. He was very helpful in talking with me about what do you want to do because at some point, if one person lives in Florida, one person lives in Ohio, somebody’s got to make the move.
JH:
Something’s gotta happen, yeah.
SS:
So was that going to be, if I moved, would I pursue finance again? I was kind of unhappy. I was starting to have those feelings inside of me, and just starting to open up and explore. One thing in growing up, I’ve always gravitated towards wellness. It’s probably just in my human nature so it’s not surprising that I got into the wellness industry. My mom was very into nutrition. She was a fabulous mom, as far as making sure we exercised and we released and always talked about things so I think I always had that in the back of my head that I could still do something I like, business wise, and we can discuss that later, but I can be in an area, at least, that I would prefer versus the long hours.
SS:
Because in finance, it’s a lot of, “How’s the market doing?” So in the financial world, like I mentioned before it’s very fast-paced. When I worked as a trading broker, you’re processing these trades, but I wasn’t getting the satisfaction I needed. The same thing with Deloitte great company that I worked for. I really enjoyed it. I really did well, but really it was just number crunching, and I just did not see day in and day out being fulfilled.
AF:
Did you struggle at all in being in a large company feeling like you were a cog in the wheel? There was only so much you could do to impact the company or did you feel more like this just, no matter what you did, this just wasn’t going to be the thing that got you up in the morning?
SS:
Probably the latter. I got to the point because I was definitely successful. My last business career was at Deloitte & Touche and I was successful. I was being recognized, but at the end of the day, waking up I was not happy. I remember telling someone, I would be on the highway driving and I’m like going so slow on the highway. People are passing me by and I was like something has got to give. This is not right. Something is telling me why am I driving to this place every day? I don’t want to be here anymore, even though I was good at it. That was something within myself.
JH:
I think that’s something that resonates with so many women. That just because we’re good at something, it doesn’t necessarily mean that that something is going to fulfill us. I know I felt that way for a number of years, where I just got to this kind of burn out stage where I was good at what I was doing, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do, and it can be really hard to break out of those shackles. I think sometimes it’s easier to keep going too that job, day after day because you’re there, and so like breaking out of that comfort zone can be really hard. What helped guide you to be able to make that decision to say, “You know what? I’m going to do something else.”
SS:
Like I mentioned earlier, it was at a point in my relationship with my then boyfriend, John, that someone would be making the move. Would he move back to Ohio? He happened to be finishing grad school so that was not a possibility, and then it became am I ready to leave, and I was raised, born an Ohio State Buckeye. Went to college in Ohio so everything was Ohio, and I dug deep and said, it’s time for a change so I think that was instrumental in having that flexibility, and then obviously I had to, there wasn’t an opportunity to transfer with Deloitte into Florida so I had to make a call at that point. That’s when I decided I’m going to go back to school.
SS:
I went back to school for my esthetician license.
JH:
How did you feel after you made that choice? You’re back in school, you’re in Florida. You’ve never been. You’re living with your boyfriend. You sort of let go of this big, successful career and took a path into the unknown. How did that feel?
SS:
It’s really interesting. It actually felt good, maybe because I was finally listening to myself. Maybe because I found what truly makes me happy. And believe you, me, the thought of going back to school because I remember when I got my Bachelor’s and my family would say, “Now you’ve got to go and get your Master’s.” And I’m like oh my God, if I have to go back to school. I did not want to do that, and just seeing that this was a totally different set-up than the traditional college. This was more of a trade school, and it didn’t have the same rule so it was a lot more fun than what I thought.
JH:
You go back to school now, to get this new license, to focus in on your new career. What’s the next step from there?
SS:
The next step from there was basically getting into practice. Where would I go? Would I go work on my own? Which was not really advised, when you’re starting out so I began working actually at a front desk of a spa. Sometimes it’s really hard to get the practical experience first. They would normally have you get some front desk experience to see how things work so I worked the front desk.
SS:
Obviously my business skills came in handy again. Those things came back, and then I got into actually doing the actual services. When I was doing the services, that was totally different. Just to be in a room, and the music, the smells, the touch, having someone wake up and just, you know because they might fall asleep during the service, except if it was waxing, but just to see their faces and to see like joy. I felt like wow, look what I’m giving to someone. That was truly an amazing feeling.
JH:
I just have to, I know I always restate the obvious, and Audrea and Reischea are probably like, “Julie, stop restating the obvious.” But I just have to because backing up for just a moment, Shana, you were just moments ago describing this incredible career in finance, where you were making big moves, doing big things, like what we traditionally think of as this big career, because it was, right?
AF:
This is what success looks like.
JH:
This is how we define success, and then what you’re actually saying is you stopped that. You went out there. You made a major change. And you went back to working, what we would consider kind of back to working at a front desk, in order to work your way up in a new career path, but you loved every moment of it. You saw joy on the faces of these people that you’re working with, and what I’m hearing, and I’m watching your face because I can see you as we’re recording this, and when you were talking about your career in finance, everything looked fine and normal, and then your face just lit up when you started talking about this career shift. So I have to just restate the obvious so that our listeners can hear because I know so many people who feel stuck or feel trapped in whatever job or career path they’re in, and you don’t have to be!
JH:
I just have to restate that because Shana, this is amazing to hear how you made that decision, and you just immediately started feeling more fulfilled.
AF:
And I also loved that you were not so caught up in your ego, that you couldn’t work the front desk. That you couldn’t learn from the bottom, up. I know that I have thought about totally changing my life, and becoming like a dog trainer or something like that, and then I think, there’s no way I’m giving up my paycheck. There’s no way I’m going to be a newbie so that’s really impressive, I think, to not only make a complete shift, but be able to look in the mirror and be like, “Get over yourself. This is what we have to do to get to the next stage.” Which is joyful, and you can find joy without being the top dog in the company. That’s awesome.
SS:
Can I tell you, I’m sorry to interrupt you there, so what I would like to say Audrea with that is in talking about starting from the bottom up, what was really interesting, I should say, about that is in that position, starting at the front desk, I had to do manual labor. I had to sweep outside. How humbling that experience was for me, and it didn’t bother me. That’s where I knew I was in the right spot because it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t like I’m sweeping the floor outside. You know. We had a store front, and that was part of what we had to do. Manage the finances, and other odds and ends, but I was very humbled by that experience, and I enjoyed it.
SS:
If I talked to my boss to this day, I still keep in contact with her. It was pure joy.
AF:
That’s awesome.
RCK:
Where is your career now, with regards to self care? Are you still doing that on the professional front or have you made another turn?
SS:
Kind of made another turn when the kids came along.
RCK:
So you made the decision for your kids, to step out of it, as a “career.” So then now you need to keep the balance in your life. How do you do that?
SS:
Well I think one thing is that with self care or balance, there are no rules. What my self care looked like when my boys were first born, because I have twins, is totally different than what it looks like now, at the age of nine. There is, I think, value in just knowing our inner self, and finding out what makes you happy. Listening to yourself. Maybe stop and taking the time to do that because for me, it could have been taking a nap every day. I need a nap. These kids are wearing me out or I need to go to bed at 10:30. Yes, I like to watch TV at night because that’s the only time I can watch television or catch up on a show, but maybe sleep is more important or drinking more water.
SS:
I definitely think when you’re in the spa industry, you obviously learn about a lot of wonderful products. The benefits of a good diet. Those are all things that re incorporated in the wellness industry so I think I took a lot of that with me, as well, and just incorporated it within my life.
SS:
I think self care, balance is whatever you make it. For me, it might look different, and it’s always ever changing.
AF:
We talked about sort of this idea of self care several times on this podcast because we go back and forth between what counts as buying into an industry and what counts as really self care, and there are times when keeping your butt in bed, and resting is actually going to be better for you than going and getting a mani/pedi, as much as my toes would prefer the mani/pedi. It’s a struggle, I think, for us to put a real true label on self care because what it is is so fluid. Sometimes it’s staying home and resting. Sometimes it’s really being social when you don’t want to be social because you actually need human connection at this point.
AF:
Sometimes, this is my least favorite one, it’s balancing the budget because you’ve got to get your house in order. Sometimes it’s going out for a facial or a glass of wine with the ladies, and those things can both be beneficial and problematic, depending on where you’re at.
JH:
And I love hearing someone who spent so much time in the self care industry, saying that that isn’t the only way to give self care. Can you tell us, Shana, what are some of the ways? First of all, let’s back up. Twins, you have twin boys! I mean that obviously effected your zen, in some way, shape or form, and the balance that you had in your life, prior to having twins so how do you… You shared some of the ways where you find balance now and self care. What do you recommend for other moms who are really struggling with this? Especially, maybe moms that were following a big career path like you were, and then made this shift to caring for children. What are some of the ways that you’ve been able to find your balance?
SS:
One thing is, yes, twins is a big change, and I will say that I didn’t have kids before twins so to me, it is just joyous chaos. That’s how I would describe. When they were born, I was very blessed and very happy to have them, but things definitely looked a little bit different. I think, for me, there was a lot of trial and error. I knew things that worked at newborn stage, just for survival, and then you get to six months stage and then toddler, et cetera, et cetera, but one thing I will say is that there is a group for everything. There is literally a group for everything. If you don’t think there is one, build it and someone will come. I will always say that.
SS:
One benefit that I had is I joined a mom of multiples group, and that was amazing because when I wanted to cry, when I wanted to give up and say, “They’re never going to do this. They’re never going to hold their bottles.” Like holding two bottles at the same time when my arms are tired, they said, “Oh no, it gets better.” I’m like, “It gets better?”
SS:
That was a lifesaver to me, and I would encourage anyone that is struggling or doesn’t know how to get to self care or just needs some help, to find a group that’s like you. Find your tribe.
RCK:
And it is so much different, mothers of multiples, twins versus… Like I have two kids, but I had a five year gap in between those two kids. And I’m just sitting here thinking about potty training two children at the same time. I went through, I thought potty training my son was really easy. Potty training my daughter, literally crying out loud. I think I might have even said to Shana, “She’s never going to do it. She’s going to be the teenager in diapers.” Because she stood at a toilet, I kid you not, this is what happened, and this almost broke me. My child, I take her into the bathroom and she’s screaming that she doesn’t want to do it, and I take off her diaper and I put her on the potty and she gets off and she looks at me, and she stands on the floor. Hands on her hips, stares me down and pees on the floor.
RCK:
She’s like there, what do you think now? I’m like oh my gosh! I can’t imagine dealing with that, with two boys. And I only had at that moment in time, one child to deal with with the potty training. Thinking this is going to be so easy because it was so easy with Agisi nope. No, no, no.
SS:
Like you said, you had one, but I had no other recollection, I had nothing to go off of. Where you had something to go off of. I do have moms that I’m friends with that had one kid and then had twins, and I think it was really hard on them, but for me, it was like I said pure chaos and I just got through it because I didn’t know any different.
AF:
Many might make the uninformed leap that balance as a stay at home mom could be easy, but that would be far from the truth, as we have discussed several times. Your husband’s career had your family moving pretty frequently so how did you keep that balance when every couple of years you’re picking up your twins and moving your joyful chaos somewhere new?
SS:
I think you could say that my experience, from leaving my career to changing into the wellness industry to having twins, prepared me for moving, if that sounds like it even makes sense, but I think, I pretty much have always had throughout those different lifecycle, if you would call it, had a perspective and open mind. That’s part of what helped me get through when we do have to relocate, due to employment for my husband because for me, it requires me to be creative. One thing that I need as well is making sure that whenever we had moved, that my needs are being met so it’s something we talk through as a family so that we get to a point where when we are moving, these are the things that I need. These are non-negotiable.
SS:
That’s been helpful. Probably I would say probably my experience, and maybe that’s why I have been on this journey that I’ve been on from leaving this to this to this. Because life is always changing anyways, right?
RCK:
It absolutely is. Of course it’s one thing to establish, maintaining that balance at home, but there is the world outside of the home that you’re contending with, and of course, we are dealing with COVID right now, civil unrest right now, political strife. How have you been able to center yourself amongst all of this other stuff, with twins, with oh, we might be moving again?
SS:
I think I’ve always relied on what’s really inside of me, and that’s just my balance. My peace. Finding that, and you’re right, with COVID this year, there has been a lot of changes. We’re not able to travel and see family for the holidays because we’ve moved so much we’re not around family right now. I think, for me, what I need, in my life, and I know this because I truly think I know myself the best is maybe turning off the TV. Maybe going for a walk, finding things that bring me joy, I cannot repeat enough how important that is, and how important that’s been to get me through the moves, COVID or things that we’re dealing with.
SS:
I think if you have that stability, you’re able to weather that storm.
JH:
Shana, it sounds like you had such an incredible mom growing up who really helped to instill some of these qualities and characteristic in your, for this inner peace, for this self love that just is so apparent as you’re talking, and you’ve been able to make these career changes, and to move your family, as your husband’s career has moved you. What advice would you give to other women, who especially right now with everything happening in the world, are really searching for that inner peace?
SS:
I think number one is that it’s so important for you to take care of yourself because if you, as a mom, as a woman, are not taking care of yourself, you cannot take care of anyone else. You will be of no use, if you are not taking care of yourself. For me, that would be the first thing that I would consider. What am I missing? What’s needed in my life right now? And two, there is something about, I think, the energy that we get as women when we come together so I cannot restate this enough how important it is to seek out a group.
SS:
Reischea knows when I was in Stamford, Connecticut, when I was in the same city as Reischea and we were part of a Mocha Moms group. We didn’t see, maybe we wanted our kids to have an experience, and we built it. I think that would be another avenue.
RCK:
I think, Shana, it’s really interesting something else that you said before. Because as you can tell, one of the things that Shana’s constants is she knows herself and she knows what she needs. I think there was also balance that you put in there with regards to John, with your husband because I found it so great when you said, “When we do these next steps, I lay out, this is what I need. This is what has to happen for this to work, and this is what has to happen for me, for this to work.” And I wonder if women don’t do that enough. If they allow change to happen without standing up and saying, “If we’re going to be successful, we have to do this together. So this is what I’m going to need, in order to make this work.” I think you’ve done that quite beautifully, but you also have a partner who is willing to hear you and go with you there.
SS:
I would agree. That’s been a big part.
AF:
When you say you stand up and you talk about your needs, which I’m with you Reisch I think that’s awesome. Talk to us about how you’ve developed those conversations, because I’ve heard, I don’t have this issue because I have no issues telling Colby when he’s wrong and when I need something, but not all women are bossy, like me. Not all women have this strong, outgoing, I will do whatever the heck I want, I’m a grown ass lady attitude that I have. But it’s important, I think, for women who don’t just say the first thing that comes to mind, no filter, to understand how they have these conversations. How you talk about your needs. How do you get to know your needs?
AF:
You made this huge switch from a very successful finance career to wellness industry, to stay at home mom who works her butt off with twins to this woman who is going all over the place with her husband, and still you know who you are, you know what you need. How did you develop that? And what advice do you give for other women so that they could do the same?
SS:
Well I don’t think it’s something that happens overnight. I definitely think I have a great partner that I’ve chosen. How lucky of me. And so that’s made it a lot easier. First would be internally, what are your needs? Determining what your needs are. I’ve been, I guess, successful because of all the transitions within my life to be able to understand that. Maybe the understanding piece is first. You have to understand. Then like I said, taking maybe baby steps with your partner or your significant other, of how those things are communicated.
JH:
I love how you also talked about building a community, and that’s something that, I get the feeling you know pretty well because you’ve made so many moves in life, and you typically you’ll have your community that follows you wherever you go or is with you wherever you go, and then each place you move, you have to build that community there. I can totally relate to that, having lived in several states and made many moves in my own life. I think that that’s also so important, building that like-minded tribe of people trying to support you and help you when you’re making those tough decision.
JH:
I think sometimes as women, especially, we have it in our mind that it is easier just to stay wherever we are, whether that’s a career move or whether that’s a life move, a physical move, and we think it’s harder to make a change, when sometimes I think it actually would be harder to keep living in a way that doesn’t fulfill you. I would just encourage women who are listening to hear Shana’s advice, and how she’s been able to make these, whether they were small changes or big changes throughout her life, and rely on the people around you, whether it’s a partner or this tribe that you build, and really look at what’s going to fulfill you. If you’re not fulfilled in some way right now, why is that?
JH:
Is there something you can do about that? Shana, I think that’s just been something that I’m going to take away from this, for sure. I think it’s just been so helpful today.
SS:
Thank you.
RCK:
Shana, we thank you so much for joining us today. For sharing your thoughts and before we go, we are collecting advice for successful women within our community and sharing it in our Think Tank of Three forum so we have our rapid fire questions for you. Question number one, is there a lesson that you have learned, be it recent or in the past, that you wished you had learned earlier in your life?
SS:
Maybe that in looking back, when I started my career, to follow my passion. I wish I had kind of known that, and I probably still would’ve majored in finance, but just following your passion and wherever that leads. It may be unconventional, but you’ll be much happier.
JH:
From the lessons that you’ve learned, what advice would you offer to other women?
SS:
The main one that I just hold true to is just to take care of yourself because you can’t take care of anyone else, and that’s my number one thing.
AF:
I love that.
AF:
In today’s world, what do you think is the most important skill for a woman?
SS:
I would sum it up by just saying self awareness.
RCK:
Can you share for our listeners, the best way, if they’d like to connect with you to have any questions on self care, finding that zen, perhaps even making that transition into the self care industry or wellness industry.
SS:
Probably the best way to reach me would be LinkedIn, Shana Shumate at LinkedIn.com. I am a pretty private person. I’m one of those folks that have never been on Facebook. I’m not on Twitter so I don’t really have the social media aspects going on so that’s probably the best way to reach out.
RCK:
Yeah, but that’s also why there is a calm to you.
AF:
So true. So true.
RCK:
Shana, thank you so much for joining us today. That will do it for this episode of Think Tank of Three.
AF:
If you have topics you’d like us to cover, or guests you’d like to hear from, send us a message at ThinkTankofThree@Gmail.com. Subscribe to the Think Tank of Three wherever you listen to podcasts and connect with us online. We vlog weekly at ThinkTankofThree.com.
JH:
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RCK:
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