Do you dream of earning the corner office? Of buying the biggest house in the best neighborhood? Of providing for your family — of having it all?
Until one day, you realize that dream has changed. Or, it wasn’t really your dream at all! Whether you feel pulled in a new direction, or you’re faced with a life-altering diagnosis like our podcast guest, life is full of transitions. Sometimes the path to finding our true joy is an unexpected one.
At 32 years old, as a newly divorced single mom of two, Beth Peck received a devastating diagnosis. Cancer. The battle was on… and spoiler alert… Beth (or shall we call her Vi!) not only fought back, she is now leading the fight at a nonprofit that helps young adults facing cancer. And that’s just the first few minutes of this episode!
Think Tank of Three Podcast Transcript
Julie Holton:
Welcome to Think Tank of Three. I’m Julie Holton here with Audrea Fink, tackling a big topic today for a lot of women. Dreams change, goals change, but sometimes we feel stuck. Like we are not allowed to change. And for so many reasons, Audrea.
Audrea Fink:
Money, lifestyle, pressures from coworkers, pressures from family, from ourselves, that internal voice that tells us, we can’t be quitters. So today we’re going to talk about it all with a guest who proudly cut the golden handcuffs to live her life’s passion.
Julie Holton:
And she will be the first to tell you nothing about her journey has been easy. Join us in welcoming Beth Peck to the show.
Beth Peck:
Hi, I’m so excited to be here. Thank you both for having me.
Julie Holton:
We are so excited to have you. So Beth has become one of my dearest friends because she has a heart of pure gold and grit and ambition, determination, and seriously strength like I have never seen before. When I met Beth five years ago, she was fighting cancer as a divorced mom with a big career. Any one of these things is huge, but all at once, will give you a little insight into just who Beth is. She is now the Executive Director of Project Koru, a nonprofit that helps young adults move forward after cancer through the power of community and some pretty rad outdoor camps. Beth, I want to start here because this is your passion. Tell us about Project Koru.
Beth Peck:
I would love to, it absolutely is my passion. Project Koru is a nonprofit organization that enriches the lives of young adult cancer survivors through community and the outdoors as a way to move forward after cancer. Our programs are really uniquely designed to inspire human connection that encourages personal growth and healing.
Julie Holton:
Okay. So I’m going to stop you right there back because Project Koru is so awesome. And you talk about encouraging personal growth and healing, which sounds so official, and it is, but tell us about these camps that you hold.
Beth Peck:
Yes! So, one of our signature programs at Project Koru is called Camp Koru. These camps are very intentionally held in pretty remote locations; one of them being the Island of Maui in Hawaii, another being Mount Hood in the mountaintop of Oregon. We do this intentionally because we really want to get these survivors pulled out of their everyday stressful lives, pulled away from their medical treatment, pulled away from the stack of bills that are sitting on the table that they can’t afford to pay because they don’t have proper health care, pulled away from their lives as parents, as spouses, as new graduates, all of the things that affect the young adult population, which is typically ages 19 to 39- get them out of all of their fast paced lives that they’re living while also trying to beat cancer, put them all together in a beautiful location where they can let their walls down finally, talk through their fears, speak about the trauma that they have just gone through, challenge their bodies by taking on new, amazing physical feats, like learning how to surf or snowboard. And only then can you really open yourself up and start the healing process that is really needed for this unique population.
Julie Holton:
And Beth, you talk about this with this big smile on your face, because this is a really personal mission for you. Talk about why it’s so personal.
Beth Peck:
Oh, it is. It’s probably as personal as you can get because it was my life five years ago. When I was 32 years old, I was very unexpectedly diagnosed with stage three breast cancer, triple-negative, which is a very aggressive form. I was a single mom. I was four months into what I thought was my absolute dream job. I felt like my life was finally on the path that it was supposed to be on. And then I very quickly was faced with my own mortality. And that messes with you in a way that I can’t even find words to describe to somebody who hasn’t gone through it. I thought I did all the treatment. I did seven months of chemotherapy, 36 rounds of radiation, double mastectomy surgery. I’ve had, I think, four surgeries since then. I have scars literally covering my body. Um, but, but I’m, I’m still in that at the time. I’m still living that life of trying to prove myself, traveling for work, trying to be this career woman that I strive for my entire life, trying to raise my kids in this perfect Midwestern way that I’m supposed to and all while putting on this front of ‘I’m okay, I’m a powerful woman. I can do this.’ When in reality on the inside, I’ve never felt more messed up and not like myself and lost. And it really took me going to Camp Koru to leaving all of that behind, to turning into a different person and allowing my vulnerable self to come out. It was only then that I could really see why it was me, that cancer chose. It was supposed to transform me in a way. And it was Camp Koru that really showed me that. And that’s really what sort of started, um, sort of the next chapter of my life that I’m still in and I’m still here and trying to live my best life.
Audrea Fink:
That’s awesome where it’s so thrilled that you made it through that. As you’re talking about this, it strikes me how common these themes are for women, right? You’re either the powerful woman who can do it all, or you’re the victim. There doesn’t seem to be, at least in sort of the cultural norms, a space where you can say like, I need to do this 50% because my health actually requires more time and energy, right? Like we don’t seem to have that allowed to us.
Beth Peck:
We don’t, that’s a really good point. We’re, we’re not allowed to be everything, although at the same time we’re told to be everything. Um, and so it’s really this, this really horrible catch 22 that I think all women face, whether they’re faced with cancer or any other big traumatic experience in life is, we’re expected to deal with it in this powerful way, but not show our vulnerability through it. And certainly not to let that vulnerability affect other parts of our lives. Yes. Cry about it with your friends, but don’t, you dare speak of it at work, right. And just those kinds of barriers that, that we face. I feel that I’m finally at a point in my life where I’m looking at myself in this very holistic way as a full person that has this magical vulnerability because of a traumatic experience. And I can utilize that, that magic in my personal life with my friends, with my partner, with my children and my parenting as a career woman. I think that there’s so many deep pieces of being a woman, um, that are not still not quite quote unquote allowed in all parts of our world.
Julie Holton:
Absolutely. And I want to emphasize that for our listeners, women who are listening right now, whether you’re dealing with a trauma as big as cancer or something that in your mind, you’re thinking, well, this isn’t as big as cancer, but my heart is hurting. One of the best pieces of advice that I was given this time last year was look, you can still be a bad ass business woman or career woman in whatever your endeavors are. And also be a woman who has a hurting heart, who’s dealing with trauma, who’s dealing with some sort of pain or confusion or something that pulls you down. You don’t have to be 100% all the time. So for all of you listening, it’s okay when you’re not 100%, right?
Beth Peck:
In fact, in fact, you can really use that challenging time in your life to become a stronger leader. I truly believe that the best leaders that I’ve ever encountered lead with empathy, with vulnerability and with an understanding of humanity and all the ups and downs that we go through. And it sometimes takes a hard time, whether it’s a breakup or cancer or anything in between, it’s all relative to your own personal self, but it can really take those things to bring out the best parts of being a leader and being a strong woman in your career or in business
Julie Holton:
Amen. Yes.
Audrea Fink:
When you became involved Project Koru, you already had a full time job. When did you realize that this is what you wanted to do full time instead of the big glamorous badass woman leadership job you had?
Beth Peck:
I actually knew the second that I returned back to my real life after my trip to Camp Koru. I came home and I stepped back into my life as Beth. So when, when you’re at camp, you choose a power name. So the whole idea behind the power name is you leave your actual self behind. So we give you the opportunity to kind of become this alter ego. Um, and my alter ego is Vi. I love the word vivacious. I feel like when I’m at my best, I’m a very vivacious woman. And so I knew when I got home that that Beth had to go away, at least for right now and Vi needed to step in and Vi needed to take over this life in a big way. In thinking through that, that meant that I really had to sit down and I’ll tell you, I have notebook upon notebook of dreams and hopes that I wrote down. When I came back, that I knew I’m going to hold myself accountable to all of this. Maybe it’s not going to be right now. I wanted to give myself time to really feel out what my next step could be in this world. And so I knew as soon as I got home, that the life that I had been living was not a good fit for me. And it felt amazing. It was the biggest breath of fresh air to finally admit to myself, this might not be the path that I want to be on anymore. I want all the people on this path to be with me, but just on a different path. And it then it was then that I sort of got the ball rolling and I started talking to, um, the cofounders of the organization. I’m a major gift fundraiser by career. They sort of needed that skill set. Um, and so it just sort of snowballed into, Oh my gosh, could I really leave my career that I’ve built up for so long and, and take a leap and just jump off the cliff into something that could be like the most beautiful pool of water waiting below me, but it could also be a pile of rocks and I’m going to completely fail. So it was, it was, it was a scary jump and I did it in stages. I’m really thankful that Project Koru and the leadership there at the time, and then also the leadership at the organization that I was with both really trusted my gut and allowed me to do it in baby steps. And so I was able to go part time at the position I was at so that I could also work part time at Project Koru so that I could feel it out. I didn’t have to kind of to let go fully. Um, I could make sure that I could plan my life financially and what that was all going to look like. So it wasn’t as scary as a jump as it could have been. And I’m still, to this day, I’m really thankful for that. I am now at the point where I have, um, moved into Project Koru full time. Um, I’ve taken over the organization as the new executive director and I made massive changes in my life to make this happen. All were very scary and all have put me in a position where I truly feel like I’m living my absolute best life, most authentic life right now.
Julie Holton:
I love this so much. And, and Beth, I want, Oh my gosh, so many places for us to go with it.
Audrea Fink:
Can we start with the names? I want a new name. I want a power name!
Julie Holton:
Yes! I love when Vi comes out of Beth! And we see her a living her biggest baddest best life. So Beth, I mean, it was what, like six months ago that we were talking about your house. I want to talk about your house for a minute because you guys, Beth and her partner had purchased the most beautiful house, like the dream house of all dream houses, right. They had gone in, they were redoing each room, room by room because Beth has this incredible eye for decor and design. And this house was just beautiful. And I remember Beth, how excited you were when you purchased this house. But at the end of the day, a house is a house, right? We live in our home. That’s where our family is, where our heart is, where our safe place is. And so you and I had a lot of conversations about a house versus a home, and what do we need versus how do we downsize to make sure we have room in our lives for our joy, especially as you were looking at the financial risks or the financial implications of moving from one career to another. So let’s talk about this idea of downsizing from your dream house. What did that feel like when you were first thinking through, okay, can I do this? Can I let go of this dream house for something else?
Beth Peck:
So actually a very good mutual friend of Julie and I came up with the term resize. I wasn’t downsizing. I was resizing. And that was the mindset shift that I needed to step into this so confidently. So yeah, I did, I did purchase the big house, my partner, Ben and I, we were expecting our third child. I have two older children from a previous marriage. I’m a Midwestern girl through and through born and raised here, I lived that mentality of you had made it in life. When you were in the neighborhood, the big house, all the extra space, the landscaping, you know, having somebody do your yard, work for you, all of these, just ideals that we see in movies and that we hear our parents’ generation talk about and our grandparents’ generation talk about. I got there, I did that. I had it all. Ben and I made that happen for our family. And it was really exciting at first, the fact that we now had 4,000 square feet to design and to make our own. We had a third child, we brought our third child home in this house. It had all of the special meaning to us. It had an elementary school right around the corner, so my kids could walk to school. It was just the dream. But then I finally had to admit something to myself and it took months and months and months for me to do this. I never wanted to leave my bedroom. I had this beautiful master suite, the baby’s nursery was through some beautiful French doors right off the master suite. We had a master bathroom that was gorgeous, but I never wanted to leave. I finally realized that I was so overwhelmed by the size of this house, that just the sheer size put me in this weird panic attack mode that I really can’t describe it. It made me constantly be thinking about, is it done? Is this room clean? Is this organized? What does the yard look like? It was almost like as soon as I opened my bedroom door, this life that was so high maintenance was waiting for me. And I didn’t ever want to leave my bedroom. I ate my meals in there. Sometimes I watched TV in there. It was like the whole family was coming to me and we were living in this bedroom. And I feel even right now, I feel very vulnerable admitting that. But I feel like for the sake of this conversation, I have to admit that out loud. And that is when I thought, okay, I’m supposed to be so happy right now. Why am I not happy? What is wrong with this situation? And after I really did some journaling and some digging and meditated on it and talked with friends and finally took off that, removed the image of what I thought I was supposed to have only then is when I really realized that none of this was bringing me joy. And I was working all the time at this job where I had to be in the office at eight and leave at five and travel all the time. All of that, that was taking so much of my life was to fuel this lifestyle that I didn’t even want anymore.
Audrea Fink:
It’s really impacting me hearing you say this, because I also consider myself to be a career woman, right? I want the big title. I want the paycheck. I want the respect of a high ranking woman in a position of power in the workplace, right. And I have that to a certain extent. And I constantly have these conversations with my husband where he’s like, I want, you know, 3000 square feet. And I’m like, that sounds so overwhelming! Like this thing that we’re told to want so frequently, isn’t actually what makes us happy? It’s just this thing we’re supposed to achieve. I love my job, but my job is exhausting, right. I could do my job in 40 hours and still have 40 hours more a week to do. And instead of just saying, okay, well, this is what can do. I work harder. I work longer more so that I can come home and be exhausted in this house we have. And also then not be satisfied with it. Not fancy enough. It just seems like you’re constantly on that hamster wheel.
Beth Peck:
Yes. It’s a spiral that never ends. And not only did I realize that this life that I had very actively created for myself, wasn’t bringing me joy. I really had to sit down and think, because I also have that. I just have that fire inside of me to like, want to take over the world one day. Like I want to make it to the top. And I always thought that meant building myself step by step through my career with where I was at at the time. And I had to really take a breath and say, am I finding joy in my career right now? Where I was at, the morale was down. We were going through some pretty tough times. It was really weighing on me every single day. It was weighing on my heart. It was weighing on my soul. And I allowed myself to say, no, I keep telling myself, I’m so happy with what I’m doing, but am I really? No, I’m not. And what am I thinking about and wanting to do all the time? Project Koru. And that was my answer. I was, I was constantly thinking about how to grow Project Koru and how can we help more cancer survivors and all of these things. That is what was lighting my fire. It wasn’t a title. It wasn’t a salary. It wasn’t a paycheck. It wasn’t how many people in my community knew my name. It had nothing to do with any of that. And it had everything to do with this new purpose that internally I knew came into my life because of a traumatic experience that I went through. It was an easy decision at that point. I needed to follow that purpose because I truly believe that is a big part of why I am still here on this earth is to help other people. And I needed to let go of everything that I just realized. I didn’t want to do that. So guess what? We sold the house. We moved from 4,000 square feet to a 1700 square foot, 1930s bungalow. And we could not be happier! We are a family of five with a big old, hairy Husky in 1700 square feet. We only have a one car garage and in the Midwest that is unheard of nobody lives their life like that. That’s like, Oh my God, here, you only have a one car garage, but guess what? It doesn’t matter. We scrape our car in the winter when it snows a couple of times a season and you know what, it really doesn’t set us back all that much. And, we now have beautiful outdoor space surrounding our 1700 square foot house. And we spend time outside and we’re forced to be in the same living room together because we only have one living room. Imagine that, and since it is international, women’s day, I’m going to say it out loud. I am damn proud of myself for the decision that we made as a family to do this. And, and it was a huge jump, but I did it. And I just encourage everybody listening, take the jumps, think of how many times you’ve made a change in your life. And how many times have you really regretted it and tried to get back to the old you. The answer for me is almost never
Julie Holton:
Beth, I love everything about what you were saying, but what I especially love is how you are not only making a change in your life, but you are creating this incredible example for your daughter. Beth has three children, two boys and a girl. And of course I love the example you’re setting for your boys as well. But Beth has this daughter who is so much like her Ruby is just, she is vivacious. She is outgoing. She is even more of a rock star than her mom, if you can imagine
Beth Peck:
True story!
Julie Holton:
I love that this eight year old little girl is seeing, you know what? My mom has it all with this job and with this house and with this family that we have now that my mom is showing me that I can be anything I want to be, because that’s what she’s doing. That’s what she’s living her life. She’s being authentic to her. And that is, I mean, that is unspeakable, what you are doing for your daughter and the lessons you are showing her that she really can have it all. She doesn’t have to have what society says she needs to have. She can define success however, she sees success. And I love that. Most of all, Beth.
Beth Peck:
It’s, it’s really true. And, I’m not gonna lie my kids. They probably teach me more or lessons every day than I teach them. Part of my ability to throw social norms to the wind and live my best life. I really do learn from my children, especially Ruby, because Ruby questions, everything, you know, like why do we have to do it this way? And, I just hope that, that her watching me every day, I just hope that I can live up to this expectation of this amazing teacher that shows Ruby that she can be whatever she wants in this world. And she can say whatever she wants and she can speak her truth.
Julie Holton:
I love that. Yes, you go Ruby. So Beth, before we wrap up, I imagine that for a lot of women listening, you know, we hear your story and we get a small sense of this incredible journey that you’ve been on and continue to be on. What was one of the hardest things about making some of these life transitions and then how did you get past that, that mindset in order to make the transitions?
Beth Peck:
Yeah, that’s a really great question that I’ve thought about a lot. And again, I have to really reach deep down and access my vulnerability to be able to answer it because I think the biggest challenge for me, and it’s still a challenge, is what it looks like on the outside, what it looks like to other people and what do other people think when they drive by my new house. And when they hear that I sold my big, beautiful house and kind of went in the other direction than most people my age are going right now. It’s really just, what do people think of me? I mean, I think that that is just unfortunately something that all women struggle with at a lot of times in their life is how am I living my life and what are my life choices looking like to other people. And I have to access grace for myself every single day to get past that. I have to tell myself every single day who cares, what other people think, who cares? What other women think, not all women are for me, not all women think the way that I do and have that empowering nature in that way to just look at other women and say, wow, she’s doing it very differently than me, but go her. And those are the women that I want to surround myself with. I, as we all do, suffer from imposter syndrome very frequently. And that’s something that is so important to bring up that word because it affects so many women. And I think that if all women would just hold each other up and empower each other and celebrate successes, even if they look different than what success to you looks like it’s still important. And, and that is who I have now decided to surround myself with. I am a bless and release kind of girl, if you aren’t serving me. And if you aren’t making me feel filled up and empowered, then I bless you. And I release you.
Audrea Fink:
I love this concept of catch and release. And I love this idea of allowing and encouraging women to define success differently. I know when I was younger, I’m very much thought of women who got married, had children and stayed at home, was a waste. And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve really realized how one, judgmental and two, false that narrative is it’s not for me, but that doesn’t make it not valuable. And I think kind of going back to that idea of you either have to be a powerful badass, or you’re like a total weakling. We expect women to live in this dichotomy, right? You’re either a homemaker or you’re a business woman and neither one of them is really enough. You have to be both. And so I love this idea of let’s build each other up, whatever you want to do with whoever you want to be great. I will support you. It doesn’t make you any less. And if you don’t support me, cool, I don’t have,
Beth Peck:
I love what you just said about the dichotomy of having to be one or the other, because I, as you have just said, I also feared that other side of it. I never in my life wanted to be a woman that stayed home that only looked after kids and fed my husband. That was my biggest nightmare. And it did take a long time to really — and a lot of talking to those types of women that say, this is what brings me joy. I love taking care of my home. And I love being with my kids every waking moment. And I love all of that. And it took a lot of time for me to learn that, that is amazing for them just as being a career woman is also amazing. And I’ve also now learned because I’m living it. There is a whole in between that a lot of women don’t know exists and I’m living it. I am still that bad-ass career woman. I am still trying to change the world one cause at a time, but I can take my kids to school in the morning now, and I can get outside and take a long walk in nature in the middle of the day or go to a yoga class or I can travel to Hawaii for two weeks and put on these amazing camps and help all of these people. And my kids know that mommy has gone, but that she’s doing great things in this world. I can do all of these things. You can make anything fit into your life. All you have to do is make it happen.
Julie Holton:
Beth, thank you so much for joining us today. You are one of the most inspiring badass women that we know, and we are so glad to hear your story. Before we go, we have three rapid fire questions for you. We are collecting advice from successful women in our communities and sharing it in our think tank forum. So Beth, are you ready?
Beth Peck:
I am ready!
Julie Holton:
Okay. Here we go. Is there a lesson that you’ve recently learned that you wished you would have learned earlier in your career?
Beth Peck:
Not all women are empowered. Women who want to see you succeed. So choose your professional circle wisely and leave no room for women who don’t believe in you.
Audrea Fink:
What advice would you offer to your younger self10 years ago?
Beth Peck:
10 years ago? I wish I would’ve known that the most important defining relationship of our lives is the one that we have with ourselves. And, to not chase love, because you’ll never be fulfilled by another person until you are head over heels, madly in love with yourself.
Julie Holton:
What do you think is the most important skill for a woman in today’s professional setting?
Beth Peck:
Leading like a woman, instead of trying to lead like a man! Lead with empathy and with passion and purpose and own your womanhood. We are a gender of born leaders and the world just hasn’t gotten over their own ego to fully see that yet. And they will.
Julie Holton:
Oh my gosh. Okay. Next podcast topic. I love that. We’d like a woman, not like a man! Beth, holy moly! That was really good.
Beth Peck:
I put some time into that!
Audrea Fink:
Thank you, Beth! Can you share the best way for our audience to connect with you if they have additional questions or business interests or if they want to get involved with the project?
Beth Peck:
Absolutely. I would love to hear from each and every one of you. You can email me at Beth@ProjectKoru.org. You can find me on all social media platforms, Beth Peck, or also Project Koru. Shoot me a DM
Julie Holton:
Beth, thank you so much for joining us today. That is all for this episode of Think Tank of Three, we will see you next time.